“I get allergic smelling hay
I just adore a penthouse view
Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue...”
Lisa Douglas from the Sixties sitcom Green Acres and I share a lot in common or at least the love of men that love the outdoors. Granted she looks better in a negligee than I do and I don’t have a Hungarian accent to contend with but we are essentially city girls thru and thru. Or at least we were until we met our “Oliver’s”.
I don’t recall the exact moment of transformation. Maybe it was a gradual undermining of my urbanity where my comfort levels eased towards a more rural, back to basics lifestyle. Yet, there are moments I miss the city. It’s what I know. I had to go to a meeting today in a major city and actually felt anxious trying to decode the exit strategy of a six story parking garage. This used to come as second nature to me. I have been plopped down in more major US cities than most people, short of airline pilots and could always maneuver around logistically with the best of them. I may not be able to tell which direction north is but I can always find food, shelter, a post office and where I can buy panty hose at 2am. I am losing my city skills!
What I really find exasperating is how much I have had to learn to stay married and how little he has. I met my husband on his turf and he has never experienced any of mine…until now. There is some discussion on occasion about going to visit one of the big cities I am familiar with (see New Orleans=50th birthday party plan) but nothing firm has come to fruition yet. We do have confirmation on finally visiting my hometown soon. The Hub will actually meet and greet my friends and family, as well as fly on a plane and see the ocean all for the very first time. Good luck, Honey!
For all the times I have sucked it up and lost a Saturday to the Hunting and Fishing Expo, I want to see him sit thru Fashion Week. I have learned to ride a four-wheeler so therefore I want him to learn to hail a cab. The thrill he gets at first frost with an impending hunting season before him is the same thrill I have gotten walking down Fifth Avenue knowing the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center will soon be up. The difference is I have lived thru the mornings of hunting season, getting up at ridiculously early hours just to make coffee and see him off. He has not yet shared the bone crushing cold of a New York morning with me…”keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside…”
I think this is one of those things typically left out of pre-marital negotiations. The negotiation of lifestyle choices is challenging for any couple but particularly if the partners are a little diverse in their activities with as little discretionary time as we have. What is a girl to do? I have tried griping, getting upset and even an embarrassing tantrum or two, with and without tears. I just want a little more balance in our relationship. I want formal acknowledgement of my efforts. I want a trip that involves room service and dressing up and not just camping gear and athleticism.
Yet in the back of my mind, I know wanting things is part of the human condition. As humans we tend to seek what we know and shy away from the things we don’t. The Hub is probably caught in the same cycle of comfort vs. discomfort I am. He is the product of his environment just as I am. I just wish I had been better prepared for the journey, “You are my wife, goodbye city life!”…